I left London mid morning, first 6 hour leg of the trip and stop-over in Dubai done. Mitch (sitting in the row in front of me) and I went for a coffee at the airport. It’s good to chat to strangers. Strangers who are also travellers. They are the curios kind.
Now on leg 2 of 3. Dreamliner. Somewhere above the clouds between Dubai and Melbourne. I sit in the wrong seat. Not sure how that happened, it took me about 8 hours to realise… Oh well, I have nice seat neighbours, I like them better than the ones I would have had ;-). I watched a couple of movies, ate a yummy barley risotto and in general do not feel very settled. This is unusual. And I am still wondering, why the donuts at Dubai airport were square. Where would the jam be, or would they just not offer jam donuts?
Back to my seat neighbours. Even though I asked for it (well, it was rather wishful thinking), it is not a hot, fun and single guy, but that’s OK. It is an Australian couple going home for Christmas. They asked me why I am not going home for Christmas. I couldn’t give them a convincing answer…
I am on my way to the other side of the world, and right now I am not sure why I am doing this. Why am I leaving ‘home’ at Christmas time, when I love the festive season? Why am I leaving home, when it is a time to spend with family and friends? Why am I going as far away as possible? And why on earth am I being so dramatic about this whole trip?
As much as I was excited about this journey, as much am I torn right now and full of self doubts. Was this too big a bite to chew? I’m not as strong as I want everyone else to think? As independent and free as a bird? Right now I am anything but – I really need someone to lean on.
I feel a little crazy. Everyone around me is fast asleep, I sit here in the dark, battling with my emotions. So many things on my mind: just before leaving I wrote an insane amount of Christmas cards for friends and family – will any one of them think of me whilst I am away? Do my friends care that I can’t spend these holidays with them? How will my mum and sister cope without me on Christmas Eve? Basically – will I be missed? The ultimate question really.